Thousands of people have found the Living Wisdom School to be a life-changing journey towards gaining mental strength in an often demanding world. Life-Skills such as Assertiveness are vital to be able to not just survive, but to thrive. Here is an excerpt from this one of many life-skills taught in the Living Wisdom School:
Without this skill, you can not maintain a balance of power, which is so essential to gain mental health and health in day-to—day relationships.
The issue of finding the courage to assert oneself in a way that is gentle and non-inflammatory, is largely about the need for skill both to protect one's boundaries and to be honest with others about what you are really thinking and feeling. In this way one can graciously retain self—respect in the face of intimidation, co-coercion and domination, without resorting to resentment or belligerence, or living reactively.
CONFLICT IS INEVITABLE AND NATURAL.
The reality of life is that we are constantly bumping into other peoples wishes, will and values, but this is not such a problem if we understand that conflict is inevitable in this life, and that it is, in itself, neutral. Rather it is how we handle it that determines whether for us it will be a positive or negative experience. I consider that some people, because of their self-centredness, insecurity or need to control, are by nature, intrusive. I.e. they will not hesitate to intrude upon our personal space or sovereignty, to serve their own purposes, rather like a person who walks right into your house without knocking on the door or asking for permission to come in close. In other words they do not respect boundaries. But don’t be too quick to condemn them, for it is likely that they cross your boundaries simply because they do not know where your boundaries are. Why? Well perhaps because of your own emotional echoes of domination or being bullied from childhood which cripple you, or through lack of word-power, you haven't been able to tell them, or push back when they themselves dominate you.
ASSERTIVENESS IS NOT:-
‘Barrelling’ them out of the blue and demanding an immediate explanation. (That’s called bullying.)
Ignoring their need for time and space to process the stuff you’ve come up with.
Making them out to be at fault because you don’t want to humble yourself and take correction
Communicating by laying down verdicts and refusing to hear any protests.
Over—talking or interrupting.
All of these activities mean that the aggressor is under too much internal pressure to dialogue. Heal the real issue.
A person who dominates a conversation only learns what he already knows.
Assertive people don’t need to get angry — they have already said what was needed to avoid feeling powerless.
To be assertive, first be sure of your ground.
© 2010 David J RiddeIl, NeIson, NZ
You are invited to join the Living Wisdom School which starts on Saturday February 11th 2017. This is a slower paced school than the usual two week school, and is run on 3 x Saturdays and 9 x Wednesday evenings between Feb 11th – Apr 22nd (Dates and times below). Call 027 340 8325 / 03 745 9118 or contact here.
Dates & Times OCT 2016 School
Sat Feb 11th 9am to 3pm with BBQ
-Wed Feb 15th 6.30-9.30pm
-Wed Feb 22nd 6.30-9.30pm
-Wed Mar 1st 6.30-9.30pm
-Wed Mar 8th 6.30-9.30pm
-Wed Apr 15th 6.30-9.30pm
Sat Mar 18th 9am to 3pm with shared lunch
-Wed Mar 22nd 6.30-9.30pm
-Wed Mar 29th 6.30-9.30pm
-Wed Apr 5th 6.30-9.30pm
-Wed Apr 12th 6.30-9.30pm
Sat Apr 22nd 9am to 3pm with BBQ
$920 for the 50 hour School.
$100 Deposit on registration.
This price includes a free counselling hour, the Living Wisdom School Manual, Living Wisdom Insights Booklet and Certificate.
Please call and discuss. Payments by instalments can be negotiated.
Venue: Wisdom Counselling offices, Tuahiwi, between Rangiora and Woodend.
For details see the Living Wisdom Schools page here
"Wise counsel for people embracing change..."
To make a booking: Web: www.wisdomcounselling.co.nz or Phone: 03 745 9118 or 027 340 8325
Thank you for your ongoing interest and support of Wisdom Counselling.
With my regards and blessings, Michael
Web: www.wisdomcounselling.co.nz Phone: 03 745 9118 or 027 340 8325