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Newsletter July 2018

In this Newsletter:

- Living Wisdom School.

- The Vital need of BOUNDARY Skills

Book now to reserve your seat - Living Wisdom School starts 8th September 2018

Run over 10 weeks, 3 Saturdays, 9 Wednesday evenings.

Hi to our Wisdom Counselling / Living Wisdom friends - this is to advise and invite you to the Living Wisdom School which will be starting in the Rangiora / Woodend area on Saturday September 8th (About 8-10 mins North of Belfast). Michael Wise is the Tutor and he is conducting the class over 10 weeks (finishing on Sat 10th November) The Course begins with a BBQ get together of students at Michael & Mariet's property in Tuahiwi, then continuing weekly on Wednesday evenings - with another two Saturdays as part of the mix. Many have undertaken the Living Wisdom School over a similar period of time, and say they prefer the slower pace, as it gives time for reflection and reading the material between classes. Michael has been successfully tutoring Living Wisdom Schools at this pace, for a number of years, and we have had excellent feed-back on his work. (He is also a professional Counsellor, Coach, Supervisor and Speaker).

For further information and dates see below, or at: www.wisdomcounselling.co.nz.

To register and book your seat or ask questions please email or call Michael on 027 340 8325 or 03 745 9118 or leave a message on the website and he will contact you.

The Vital need of BOUNDARY Skills

Do you have a lock on your home doors and windows, and a fence and gate to stop intruders coming in? Psychological Boundaries are like an invisible protective wall around our head, that we as individuals are responsible to set and maintain. They are to protect us from intrusive, or bossy, or controlling people. Safe people will only need a wicker fence, and you can mostly leave the gate open. Unsafe, 'Difficult' people need a concrete wall to stop their intrusiveness. If one has no boundary skills it leaves one unprotected and open to being used, or even abused. If you do not set boundaries, how will the other person ever know, or be taught not to go too far? If you cannot, or don't set boundaries it is of little use complaining afterwards. People do nonsense, but it really is up to us if we put up with it or not.

The hard thing for many with setting boundaries is that they are afraid to do so, fearing the other person's reaction. This is the case with the 'People Pleaser', who want to not upset or 'cause' trouble, and to keep people happy. Safe people will respect your boundaries when you set them, but difficult people will react badly to them. Does it feel cruel to say 'NO' or 'Do not do that'? Beware then, as you are likely to say 'Yes' when you mean 'No', or 'No' when you mean 'Yes'! How confusing is that?! Better to be firm about this, than staying hurt and upset.

Here are a few words from the Living Wisdom Manual, used in the Living Wisdom School:

Any relationship is heading for trouble if one or other can’t achieve a balance of power. Can you keep safe in the face of a bully? Can you keep your space in the face of emotional, political or religious coercion? RESTORE your boundaries and a balance of power with powerful gracefulness, rather than by summoning anger and rage, by pushing back gently as soon as the need arises. Remember, we are to “speak the truth in love” to the intrusive person. If you can’t push back, because part of you is still a child, you must either become angry, cringe, avoid, or just deeply resent the one who encroaches, and then go to where-ever resentment takes you. A relationship is only as good as the balance of power it rests on, but asking “wha’ did yer las’ slave die of?” while a good ‘bouncer’, is not considered sufficiently helpful in these enlightened times. Who in your life needs boundaries? Who is your difficult person?

A few examples follow. There are many more for each area of life. Would you dare to use them to protect your dignity, as opposed to saying nothing and getting walked over?

“Well, that’s your proposition. Now I’d like you to hear mine.”
“This house has a protocol; let me tell you what it is so you won’t embarrass yourself.”
“OK, and as long as your expectations for me cut both ways, there’ll be no problems.”
“With regard to your tone of voice you should remember that your priorities are your priorities.”
“I wonder, do your expectations apply to me or to someone more highly paid than I am?”
“If that’s really a request then ‘no’ is an ok answer isn’t it?”
“If this decision applies to me, then I expect to have a hand in formulating it thanks”.
“As I wasn’t invited to that discussion, it will be more difficult to submit to its conclusion”.
“Can I get back to you on that one please? I also need to think about it for a bit.”
“Are you pushing me on this, because that’s how it feels from here?”
“Is that a proposition or a verdict, because I don’t respond very well to verdicts?”
“We’ll need to negotiate on that one a little further I think.”
“Please remember, only Robinson Crusoe could have everything done by Friday”

For more details of the curriculum and other life-skills taught in the school please see here.

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Living Wisdom School starts 8h September2018

You are invited to join the Living Wisdom School which starts on Saturday September 8th 2018. This is a slower paced school than the usual two week school, and is run on 3 x Saturdays and 9 x Wednesday evenings between Sept 8th to Nov 10th (Dates and times below). Call 027 340 8325 / 03 745 9118 or contact here.

Dates & Times for the Spring 2018 School

Sept 8th to Nov 10th 2018

Sat 8th Sept 9am - 3pm

-Wed 12th Sept 6.30 - 9.30pm

-Wed 19th Sept 6.30 - 9.30pm

-Wed 26th Sept 6.30 - 9.30pm

-Wed 3rd Oct 6.30 - 9.30pm

Sat 6th Oct 9am - 3pm

-Wed 10th Oct 6.30 - 9.30pm

-Wed 17th Oct 6.30 - 9.30pm

-Wed 24th Oct 6.30 - 9.30pm

-Wed 31st Oct 6.30 - 9.30pm

-Wed 7th Nov 6.30 - 9.30pm

Sat 10th Nov 9am - 3pm

$920 for the 50 hour School.
$100 Deposit on registration.
This price includes a free counselling hour, the Living Wisdom School Manual, Living Wisdom Insights Booklet and Certificate.
Please call and discuss. Payments by instalments can be negotiated.

Venue: Wisdom Counselling offices, Tuahiwi, between Rangiora and Woodend.

For details see the Living Wisdom Schools page here

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Wisdom Counselling

"Wise counsel for people embracing change..."

~ Counselling ~ Coaching ~ Supervision ~ Training ~ Life Skills ~

To make a booking: Web: www.wisdomcounselling.co.nz or Phone: 03 745 9118 or 027 340 8325

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Thank you for your ongoing interest and support of Wisdom Counselling.

With my regards and blessings, Michael

Web: www.wisdomcounselling.co.nz Phone: 03 745 9118 or 027 340 8325

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